Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
