Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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