I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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