Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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