just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
