I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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