M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
