Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
