Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize