Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
