She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
