do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize