so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
