Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just had sex bonerless
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
