oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize