He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize