Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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