did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize