I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
