Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
