hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize