I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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