Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
