If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
