what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
