a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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