I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
