Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
