Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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