So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
