I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
