would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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