I wanna bring you to show and tell
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
