you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
