I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
