is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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