don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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