Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize