don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
