There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
