If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
