Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
