At least make sure they are 18
Why
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
