so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
