summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
