Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
