i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize