ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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