I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
