Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
