Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I understand Curling. That high.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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