you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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