At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so let's talk penis.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
