i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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