that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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