They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
