That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
home. puking in laundry basket.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
