thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
