Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
zippers are such a cool invention
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
