I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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