You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
