with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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