Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
