Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
