what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i came on her dog
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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