He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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