Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
