She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize