Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
