question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
