it was like his penis was on wheels.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
