I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
