I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
