Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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