Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
