Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
