who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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