I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
