Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
