If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
