she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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